Wednesday, July 25, 2012

2012 Birthday Greetings From Sandra


Mommy, when I woke up, I had a dialogue with God. I asked him to give me words of encouragement to give to you for your birthday. This was His answer: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).

Then the Lord brought back to memory another dialogue I had with Him…one that I had with Him the night Marla died. Mom, I want to share this with you on your birthday so that amidst our pain, amidst our broken hearts, God can breathe HOPE in our hearts.

Dialogue in the Dark

“Lord, I don’t understand!” No, I wasn’t angry….I was confused. God just didn’t make sense.

When Marla was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007, I made an inner vow/ commitment that I would be Marla’s ally in her fight of faith;

One day the Lord gave me Ps. 118:17 “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done” . I claimed this verse as a promise for Marla. As I shared this with Marla, I was so excited to learn that the Lord gave her the very same verse the same week!
So through all her ups and downs with cancer, we bonded together in our trust that God, not cancer, would win in the end.

Even as Marla was rushed to the ER on Friday, April 16, 2011 and later transferred to ICU the next day- I was in faith that Marla will bounce back and that she would go home soon.

On April 18 at 1:32 pm, Marla went home- home to be with the Lord.

With hope crushed and heart, broken in pieces, I could not breathe. My heart was racing… was I about to have a heart attack? I felt the sentence of death. Overwhelmed with grief, I was in a deep dark pit of despair.

… in this deep dark pit I wrestled with God; I had nagging questions and I was grasping for answers like one grasps for air.
…in this deep dark pit I had a dialogue with God:

ME: Lord, Marla cried out to you “Lord not yet, not yet” and at the point Lord I was so confident you would not take her. You are a gentleman Lord and you would not take her if she was not ready; you would not take her against her will…

Lord: Sandra, go back to the garden of Gethsemane…what did I cry out?

ME: Lord, you cried out “Father, take this cup away from me”

LORD: Just like Marla, I too cried out to the Father; I too did not want to die at that point. But what did I say after that?

ME: You said, “But not my will but your will be done”

LORD: Remember when you wanted to come back to the ICU to be with Marla, but the nurses did not let you in? That was the time Marla said “But Lord, not my will but your will be done”. You were not there to witness Marla say these words to me. Sandra, I did not take her against her will…I did not take her until she totally surrendered;

ME: But Lord what about your promise to Marla in Psalm 118:17 “I will not die but live and proclaim what the Lord has done?”

LORD: Marla is not dead, she continues to live…in her kids, in Doug, in you…in all of those she has impacted…

Then I understood; it was beginning to make some sense…

I realized that if I were to turn my back on God now…then Marla would have died in vain. To honor Marla’s memory, I would worship God .

Marla fought so hard, not just against cancer but against us losing our faith in God.

Marla feared that her cancer would cause us to question God and eventually turn our backs on Him.

In a personal email to me written after the discovery that the cancer had come back with a vengeance (months after they sent a newsletter declaring she was cancer free) Marla writes…

“Initially, I had a peace about it all but now, facing the fact that we need to make it public, I am beginning to become more emotional about it. I guess I feel like I have given God a bad name especially to those who do not know him. It's like I have put him to shame. I know that I should not worry about how people will react but that is how I feel at the moment. I know that the Lord will give me grace and strength.”

Marla was fighting two battles: the battle against cancer and a bigger battle: Different ones in the family suspected that Marla would not be telling us the real story of her cancer…they feared that she was worried for them; but it was more than that…much bigger than that- she feared they would lose their faith in God.

So if I would turn my back against God because of Marla’s death, then I would have just confirmed her fear…. But I will not let that happen.

Marla lived a life of worship and honor to God; one thing mattered most to her- that God would take center stage in her life. The words of john the Baptist on Jesus “HE must become greater, I must become less” could have very well be Marla’s own words. Marla was never comfortable in the limelight; she found purpose and dignity in stepping back and allowing God to shine. As she battled with cancer, one thing mattered most to her-that God would take center stage.

Marla wrote in her blog:
“I don’t know how long this journey will be, how many more deep waters, rivers of difficulty and fires I have to go through but I know how it is going to end: Jesus will have the victory and his name will be glorified. That I am sure! Until that day when I see him face to face, I will proclaim Psalm 118:17 which says, “I will not die but live to tell what the Lord has done!” That is how I want to spend the rest of my days: proclaiming the glorious deeds of the Lord! “

Even if Marla is not with me anymore in body, she is still with me in spirit and thus I will continue to proclaim the glorious deeds the Lord has done through her life…though gone, she continues to inspire me…. if Marla who amidst excruciating pain, amidst despair, amidst adversity can praise the Lord, why can’t I? Marla’s life continues to speak to me…God does not deserve my bitterness, my anger etc…

To Marla the question was never “Why me?” The question was WHO- “Who can I trust now?” To Marla, the answer was always easy- she can trust in the name of the Lord, in God her Savior.

Mommy dear, as God adds a new year to your life today, my prayer is that whenever you face life's challenges, God would give you His grace to turn your question from "WHY ME?" to "WHO CAN I TRUST NOW?" and I am in faith that each time you would ask this question, your answer would be "I can trust God my Lord and Savior".

I love you Mommy! Happy Birthday!

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